Unexpected Things #8: Pop Goes The Weasel

I know that the longer one is pregnant, the bigger that person gets over time. If it was a graph, it would be a very simple one to chart.

You LITERALLY grow .5 - 1 inch an hour for the ENTIRE PREGNANCY.

For all those times I told Mr. Forrest "I'm not going to need to know this graph stuff", I'm sorry.

I have also heard of the term “Popped”, which I assumed was a period of time, around the 4th – 5th month where one starts to look pregnant, and people outside of the immediate social circle start to notice. Those people can be friends of friends, the barista at the cool hippie coffee place, and strangers on the Orange Line.  This process starts slowly over a period of a couple of weeks, but starts to happen more frequently. At least, that was my initial impression of what “Popped” was.

Apparently, I was misinformed.

Popped isn’t a slow, gradual process over a couple of weeks. Popping, at least in my case, went as such:

Wake up on Week 17, day 4 at 8 am. Put on jeans. Zip jeans. Button jeans.
So far, so good.
At 6pm, go pee. Stand up from pee. Pull up jeans. Zip jeans…..part way. Grunt. Curse like a sailor. Attempt to button – HA! Not happening. Stop swearing. Return to dinner, pants unbuttoned, see how long it takes husband to notice.  (Note: If Sports Center is on, it might take a while).

Say goodbye to wearing these.

So, for any of those who just wanted a little clarification, “Popped” is approximately an 8-10 hour process where you better hope that you already have a belly band, and a couple of pairs of comfy maternity pants on hand.

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